Do You Question Assessments?
© Steve Whiteford 2023Many people question the value of assessments, and there are many reasons why. Here are a few:
Not Much Changes – Communication
Communication begins with a cry in infancy. It’s a skillful way to meet our needs and get what we want. It’s interesting to consider that most of our communication (I’m resisting an unresearched percentage here) is based on the same motivation. Give it a thought. You might become altruistic and counter with, “But I want…
A Controversial Note on Recognition
© Steve Whiteford 2023 Employee Recognition has been a popular trend for several years, but from my observation and experience has some challenges. Studies have proven that recognition programs increase employee motivation, productivity, and happiness. Yet I’ve also witnessed and experienced that it can be a task to get people engaged in the process, beyond…
EI is the Depth Charge for Recovering and Moving Forward
© Steve Whiteford 2022 Emotional Intelligence (EI) should be a very familiar topic for HR Professionals. Some say the science of EI was cited as early as the 1920s, but Daniel Goleman’s book, Emotional Intelligence brought it into popular culture in 1995 when he published his groundbreaking book by the same title. I was in…
A Life-enhancing Tool for Increasing Emotional Self-awareness
©Steve Whiteford 2023 The “Mood Meter” originated from the work of James A. Russell and his Circumplex model of “Affect” which mapped the interplay of Valence (pleasure/displeasure) and Arousal (intensity/alertness). Versions associated with Emotional Intelligence were popularized by Caruso and Salovey, and Mark Bracket at Yale University. These represent the same factors with blocks of…
Stop Using Rhetoric that Says Emotions Are Bad; Help Culture Resolve and Evolve!
©Steve Whiteford 2023 Emotional Intelligence is a popular science that is useful for Leadership Development, Communication in business, and Employee Relations. I’ve taught it from the traits model and the skills strategy which combine very well and deliver strong results. The greatest challenge in promoting self-awareness and the skills of emotional intelligence is that our…
What is Emotional Labor?
© Steve Whiteford 2021 Recently when I was teaching my Emotional Intelligence workshop to a Covid-exhausted non-profit healthcare team, they identified Emotional Labor as a strong concern. It’s easy to understand why. The caregivers in this group were especially attuned to the need to stay positive for patients and their teams. And they often needed to deliver…
To Catch an Emotional Competency Thief
© Steve Whiteford 2021 One of the trickiest emotions that is sure to keep you stuck and crash your efforts to effectively manage your limiting feelings and thoughts is based in self-judgment or self-pity. Scientists call this a Meta-Emotion (an emotion about an emotion.) Mindfulness masters call it “Second Suffering.” It’s when you’re angry, embarrassed,…
How “Acceptance” Works in Emotional Intelligence
© Steve Whiteford 2021 “Acceptance” can be a difficult concept. It comes up in spiritual study a lot, and though not always directly presented in Emotional Intelligence, it is essential to the skill. It seems to imply passivity and compliance. “So I’m not supposed to have a response or take action when I don’t like…
Which Came First?
© Steve Whiteford 2021 Learning Emotional Self-Awareness and being mindful of feelings and thoughts can present a “chicken or the egg” dilemma. Which will be my first cure. the thought or the feeling? There may be some very precise neuroscience I’ve not read, but from personal experience, I’m moved to say it really doesn’t matter….
Train Self-Awareness First
© Steve Whiteford 2021 Oddly, self-awareness is a quality some people actively resist. It requires the courage to be introspective, to truly consider the meaning of your way of being and its effectiveness. It often comes to us through feedback or criticism from others, but to accept that, you need to trust the person’s perceptions…
How Emotional Intelligence Supports A Creative Professional’s Learning & Development –
© Steve Whiteford 2021 Becoming a creative professional in the arts is often prefaced with many warnings about the tough road ahead. My own decision to be an actor at eight years old was immediately scoffed at and discouraged by my parents. Little did they know that my attraction to the art was based in…
Ghosting – The Silent Sibling of Gaslighting
© Steve Whiteford 2021 If you are a ghost-er, therefore a ghost – unlike a Halloween ghost you’re probably not frightening at all. Like most ghosts people report having experienced, you’re just an annoying practitioner of “now you see me, now you don’t.” Ghosting is akin to Gaslighting because it’s a denial, a charade. And…
IDENTITY – THE EMOTIONAL TIE THAT BINDS YOU
© Steve Whiteford 2021 Identity and ego are good things. They are how we uniquely define ourselves and how we relate to the world. In best-case, we use them to accurately enact our values and allow us to function effectively in the world. But it’s a problem when we are strongly committed to an inflexible…
Lessons from Ghosts: The Benefits of Emotional Self-Awareness and Contemplation
© Steve Whiteford 2021 Consider Scrooge. We all have an internal Scrooge. Some aspect of our values, beliefs, or behavior that is driven by a lack of self-awareness, possibly repressed responses to unresolved events in our lives. Working with emotional intelligence requires an openness to incremental self-awareness. To acknowledge the visitations of feeling throughout the…
Two Potholes on the Road to Emotional Intelligence for Managers
Listening to Daniel Pink’s The Power of Regret, I was happy to be reminded of Fundamental Attribution Error in his discussion of Foundational Regret.
Cognitive Bias
Between Daniel Pink and Daniel Kahneman I’ve had Cognitive Bias on my mind. When you really explore it, I think you’ll find Cognitive Bias begins with and is very difficult to separate from feeling. For instance, when we make a Fundamental Attribution Error, our emotions want to reject responsibility, or when we fault someone else’s…
How Empathy Grounds Disagreement
Dealing with disagreement feels like conflict – having an opposing position, experiencing discomfort, and a desire to be right or win. The intensity of disagreements can vary greatly based on the stakes. Sometimes disagreements are just differences of preferences or result from unexamined interactions and habitual moods. From “I don’t like the way you did…
Self-Awareness: Courage Required!
The pursuit of Emotional Intelligence is not for the faint of heart. The foundational skill for its pursuit is self-awareness. Like peeling an onion, it’s apt to result in tears and involves shucking many layers. I remember several years ago when a friend was redesigning my web, I stopped by to see how it was…
Hats Off to Generation “Z” – Our Great DIVERSE Hope
©Steve Whiteford 2022 I had a fantastic time presenting the Skills of Applied Emotional Intelligence to Jeff Quade’s St. Edwards business class yesterday. Of course, I attribute some of this to Jeff’s brilliant and accessible style as a professor and seasoned Organizational Development professional. As a Boomer, I certainly don’t remember being as bright, kind,…
How to Avoid Our Cultural Detours to Emotional Bypass
©Steve Whiteford, 2022 I am concerned about how emotional intelligence continues to be characterized by terminology that can promote emotional bypassing. Despite all of the great research and writing that has been done on the power of embracing emotions, and having a strong emotional vocabulary, I still notice resistance to the foundational skill of emotional…
5 Easy Pieces of EI Knowledge
1. In his life-changing book, Love + Work, Marcus Buckingham rightfully declares “Each activity, each interaction is emotionally charged, either positive or negative. Each moment hits you, you can take it in, and it either lifts you up a little or drags you down a little. No moment leaves you at zero.” Although not new, having him make…
Look up! Look in! Look out! Directly face.
© Steve Whiteford, 2022 I am a person who believes in and promotes individual well-being, self-awareness, contribution, growth, and achievement of personal fulfillment. Through all of the transition we are experiencing, classic messaging about success and productivity has begun to disturb me. I believe this messaging continues to distract us from our humanity and what…
Self-Awareness: Courage required!
© Steve Whiteford, 2022 The pursuit of Emotional Intelligence is not for the faint of heart. The foundational skill for its pursuit is self-awareness. Like peeling an onion, it’s apt to result in tears and involves shucking many layers. I remember several years ago when a friend was redesigning my web, I stopped by to…
Reduce Time-Wasting Employee Relations Issues
Several years working in a small HR department taught me how much valuable time is wasted on Employee Relations issues. At one time or another, every professional in the department was distracted from a project by having to refocus on resolving interpersonal or management-related conflicts in the organization. Now that I’ve expanded my expertise in…
AUTHENTIC SUCCESS
AUTHENTIC SUCCESS Feel the FEAR and Open Your Heart Anyway © 2016 Steve Whiteford My work with others using Emotional Intelligence and Mindfulness, and certainly my self-work over the years, has led to me focus strongly on the incremental, initial feelings we have throughout the day as the key to finding success through emotional intelligence….
Core Flexibility for Performance Enhancement
Core Flexibility in Performance Enhancement The Power of Emotional Awareness in Behavioral Change By Steve Whiteford © 2015 I was recently called to coach a young tech professional who was having difficulty changing some detrimental work habits. They were simple patterns like – clocking overtime by working to “perfection” vs. adhering to defined project parameters,…
Get Over It! Six Reasons Leadership/Executive Presence Still Matters
© Steve Whiteford 2015 Search “Executive Presence” on the internet and you will find tons of articles, and resources for training on the topic. Yet, I consistently see opinion articles that dismiss the validity of the discipline.When I read the trashing of what I have experienced to be core skills of communication, leadership and exemplary…
The Power of Authenticity (EQ-i 2.0) by Steve Whiteford 2014
The Power of Authenticity – In Emotional Intelligence & Leadership © Steve Whiteford 2014 It’s curious that Authenticity is not identified as a component in any of the major EI assessments. But we can recognize it as an integral, and dynamic characteristic of Emotional Intelligence and resonant, powerful leadership. (Of-course so have others.) I would…
5 Tips for Increasing Training Impact at Your Organization, by Steve Whiteford
– An Overdue Rant – Granted, I come from a theater background which is surprisingly disciplined, and in which the importance of place, staging and performance is fully understood. So, of course, my suggestion is that excellent training and teaching also require these elements. However, in the past few years I’ve noticed more and more…
Society of Emotional Intelligence – “Let’s Talk EI” Radio Interview 11/13
Dr. Hank Clemons, President of SoEI and talk show host interviews Steve about EQ-i 2.0 http://youtu.be/t7F1CmJepDE Sound Only – You Tube
EQ-i 2.0 Quick Guide to Emotional Intelligence! New compilation of my EQi Articles – Buy the Guide now! $2.99
Purchase here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1501041770# Leadership and Communication Trainer/Consultant, Steve Whiteford, offers short but valued perspectives on the Scales and Subscales of the Emotional Intelligence assessment: EQ-i 2.0. Certified practitioners and enthusiasts alike will benefit from his short takes including: TRAINING TIPS, thoughts on the cohesive INTER-DEPENDENCIES through the SUBSCALES of the model, personal revelations, andCITINGS from NEUROSCIENCE and MINDFULNESS. Whiteford’s…
Openness is Good Management
Not long ago I enjoyed a lecture given by Psychologist, Richard Farson. In his talk he critiqued the very concept of management training. He targeted the idea that management, which is mostly interpersonal relationship, can be accomplished through technique. An example he offered was the practice of using “verbal templates” for effective communication. For instance…
The Truth Is Out
In our current business climate we have some excellent examples of the need for truth and trust in business practices and communication. A few major corporations have given give lip service to ethical accounting practices resulting in major lay-offs, bankruptcy, a crashing market and an extreme loss of trust in American Business. Although hundreds of…
The Truth Will Set You Free
Truth Willingness and Openness, Keys to Accelerated Learning I am often astounded by individual demonstrations of courage and growth that occur in my workshops. Not long ago, I witnessed a participant response that provided a profound lesson. It happened on the second day of my “Powerful Presentations” workshop — often a challenging morning. Participants have…
THE CONFLICT FACTOR IN PERFORMANCE REVIEWS
In recent work, I’ve been reminded of the importance of using performance reviews as an effective component of workplace communication. They are often a focus of questions when I present workshops on conflict, and in my conversations regarding effective conflict skills I am often led to quote conflict specialist, Dick Mayer: “A well done performance…
MBTI – The Heart of Emotional Intelligence EQ-i
MBTI – At the Heart of Emotional Intelligence (EQi) Applicable to EQ-i 2.0 © Steve Whiteford 2007 A little history- Although I was very familiar with Myers-Briggs@ from several explorations in my years of executive development and career transition work, I received EQi certification first. Like thousands of others, I was inspired by the books…
Leveraging the 7%
I often emphasize the physical because, although it’s 55% of our message, we rarely make conscious use of it. In contrast it’s also true that if your physical message is strong but your words are flat, your communication will lack luster and fail to move people to action. The words we use account for 7%…
Technique Turn-Off
Have you ever had real interest in a service or a product and then been turned off by a marketer’s covert application of a communication technique? I imagine most of us have. The scenario is (unfortunately) easily evoked by the thought of a used car salesman or boiler-room telemarketer. Yet, in life, the arena expands…
Bodywise: Stuff that Works
The leading question for most of my workshop participants for a variety workplace situations is: How do I overcome ______ (insert: lethargy, inertia, nerves, fear, apprehension, internal blocks…) in order to _______ (insert: improve a relationship, do a great presentation, connect with my boss, move through conflict, feel better about myself, be more effective…)? It’s…
Beyond Confidence, Developing “Fiero”
“Fiero:” the pleasure that comes from meeting a challenge which has stretched you.” That is the definition of an Italian word that describes a particular positive emotion cited in the book Destructive Emotions, by Daniel Goleman. Goleman is an inspirational frontrunner of personal and leadership development. The book presents ever deeper cases that through specific…
How to Handle Difficult Participants – It’s Not a Trick!
© Steve Whiteford 2013 A friend recently dropped me an email exclaiming that she had just learned some really good tricks for controlling difficult participants and managing groups when facilitating. I was immediately interested because this is a recurring question when I teach Presentation and it’s exciting to imagine there is something new and clever…
Depth Over Time
Many organizations these days are interested in supporting their associates with training workshops in core areas that support individual growth as well as corporate values and productivity. A consistent challenge is supplying quality training within strained budgets of time and money. Unfortunately choices are often made to jump for an inexpensive quick hit that supplies…
Leadership Emotional Effectiveness: The Starting Gate
As businesses are stressed to compete in a sea of financial and innovation ambiguity, the need for leaders to provide a sense of stability and workability, though seemingly counter intuitive, is essential for a healthy and productive workforce. Recent studies of neuroscience and tried and true common sense have proven that everyone works best in…
Connection is Key
What’s the key to confidence and relaxation when speaking? In my twenty years as a speech coach, I’ve found that’s the question clients always ask. The basis of that anxious inquiry is the fear of speaking to a group. Many people say “I have no trouble talking or presenting one-on-one, but put me in front…
Leadership, Neuroscience, and Presentation
Leadership, Neuroscience and Presentation Copyright: Steve Whiteford 2012 What is old is new. We keep finding out that simple things we’ve known for years, things like eating a balanced meal with fresh vegetables and home-grown food, are really good for you. Recently I’ve been excited to see how advances of neuroscience are substantiating practices I’ve…
The Resilience to Meet Ambiguity and Change
Working with Emotional Intelligence EQ Two of the biggest challenges for employees in today’s workplace are working effectively under the stress of ambiguity and navigating constant change. These two conditions are especially difficult because they challenge core human needs that are rooted deeply in the brain’s circuitry. Working with the EQi 2.0 assessment and the…
Vigilance is Vital to Workplace Growth and Change
Strong resistance to change appears to be hardwired into each of our body-minds. One of the brain’s functions is to make sense out of sensory input by perceiving patterns and sorting those patterns into recurring or familiar categories. This selection/storage mechanism frees the mind to process new information. New information is matched to familiar patterns…
Revaluing Charm School
In the Career Advice section of the June, 1999 Fortune Magazine, I was reminded of my introduction to work as a coach. The article focused on the kind of executive or management coaching and training sometimes referred to facetiously as “Charm School.” The name “Charm School” is derived from the fact that this particular form…
Any Body Home?
Right now take a breath and check into your body. Stop reading! What do you feel? You just took a step to enhance your communication skills. “Your body is your instrument.” That’s what I learned as an actor, and in the years that I’ve been coaching businesspeople to express, influence, and lead, it has become…
The Heart of Leadership; Emotional Effectiveness in Action
My consulting palette includes Career Transition work, and I’m heartened to say I’ve been inspired many times in the last year by senior managers in job search. Part of the process is to invite candidates to explore and tell their success stories; what makes them unique and valuable. More and more, I hear effective leaders…
Listen – Connect – Produce
As I work with more and more internet and technology companies, it’s clear that listening is the fundamental communication skill needed to increase productivity. When associates don’t listen to each other, messages are missed, misinterpreted, discounted, or just plain ignored. When communication is incomplete, the request or task doesn’t happen. When communication breaks down, action…
Achieving Openness
One of the big buzzwords for this decade is “Openness.” As the Nineties speed to their close and The Millennium beckons, I wonder how much we’ve really instilled this quality into the behavior of our organizations or most importantly ourselves. After all, “Organizations don’t change, individuals do.” Some might ask “Just what is openness anyway,…
Elusive Detractors
Elusive Detractors: sounds like a new physics-based business term. I love that stuff, but it’s really much simpler than that. Remember the movie, The Bad Seed? Little Rhoda was an absolute charmer, until she was alone with her victims. Most of them never saw it coming, nor had the chance to complain about her behavior….
Raising Your Voice
A recent study of communication at the University of California reported communication is perceived 55% through bodily stand and gesture, 38% through voice tonality and 7% through the actual words used. It’s clear how we present our message can be more significant that the message itself. The importance of a strong vocal image for achieving…
KISS for PowerPoint (Keep it Simple, Sweetheart)
I recently attended a problematic presentation at one of my favorite professional groups. I protect the innocent by omitting all names. I thought the situation provided an excellent example for learning. I was quite interested in the topic. It was clear that the presenter had great expertise, but some ineffective choices with PowerPoint diminished the…
Accent Improvement for Understandability
It was George Bernard Shaw in Pygmalion, who first a argued that a standard English dialect should be taught to all Englishmen in order to unify the culture and end social prejudice based on tell-tale dialects. Today, in the emerging diversity of the U.S. work culture, employees for whom English is a second language often…
Something’s Trickster in Denmark
Hamlet is known to be a play about Revenge, but I wonder if that is something rotten in Denmark might be a rampant expression of the Trickster archetype. Was Shakespeare ultimately cautioning us about the potentially disastrous effects of unbridling the Trickster in psyche or society? The playwright presents his audience with a psychologically modern…
The Cost of Change
I just gave up a large piece of income because I’m tired of being asked to do corporate quick fix when more is required. You can’t change an individual in four hours and you can’t change a company with a three-day workshop, but sometimes that’s what you’re asked to do. “Give us all your expertise…
Ode to And
I fell in love with the word when I was teaching speech in college. When pronounced fully — as it almost never is — it produces a clear sense of tying things together. And! The easy open vowel supplies a container for many things, then the tongue embraces them with a sonorously vibrating “n” to…
Watch that Accessing!
People who are skilled in interpersonal communication pay a lot of attention to the specifics of eye communication. Classically, we value strong eye contact, especially in interviews and one-on-one meetings. Neurolinguistic Programming teaches that we each have a primary learning mode with eye movements that correspond. Here are the modes, movements and characteristics: VISUAL –…
Truth or Consequences
When I suggest that people in corporations refine communication by speaking their truth, by the expressions on their faces, you might think I’ve announced the arrival of Godzilla. Yet, this simple-but-powerful practice might be the answer to most workplace communication challenges. I recently worked with a small group to facilitate teamwork and unravel an intense…
Energy, the Essence of Communication
Authority and influence are consistently identified as two essential elements for leadership and effective management. The American Heritage Dictionary defines authority as “the power to command.” I interpret the power to command as the ability to consistently and strongly influence. In other words, to lead or impact the behavior of others. If you look up…
Conflict, the Core Skill
“Count to ten.” You probably heard this age-old panacea for controlling anger on the playground. Or, maybe your mother told it to you at very early age to keep you from trouncing a sibling. Like many old sayings it’s the simplification of a profound truth — that you can never solve a problem from the…
The Spirit of Team
Surprising synchronicity. That’s what I would call the events that began my personal education to some of the fundamentals effective teamwork. First I get a call from a client requesting general information on my programs with a specific interest in team building. Then I notice that a train the team builder class is being given…
Embodying Leadership
Definition of “embody:” To invest with bodily form To personify an idea To represent in concrete form To make part of a system or whole To embody a particular philosophy, approach, or skill set incorporates each of the bulleted definitions of “embody” listed above. Even with the definition bulleted out for us, the exact meaning…
The Innate Power of Presentation Skills Training
Over the years of teaching Communication Skills I have relished the opportunity to go deeper. When a client’s needs evoke the finer points of self-exploration and personal growth to achieve stronger leadership, the work and the results are incredibly rewarding. Leading groups to find courage and refined levels of resiliency and skill for handling conflict…
Off the Record
One of the first things people ask for in their relationship with a coach or consultant is confidentiality. Clients often begin by stating: “What I’m about to say is off the record.” It is certainly important to establish that the information and feelings we share will be held with integrity. Without establishing mutual trust it…
Resilience, a Skill for 2000
William Bridges, a leading workplace futurist and authority on change, identifies RESILIENCE as one of the characteristics essential for success in today’s workplace. In his book Job-Shift he defines it as the ability to: Bend, Not Break Learn / Release Old Patterns Bounce Back Quickly Live with High Levels of Uncertainty Find Security Within I…
Packing a Verbal Business Card
Most great networkers go to great lengths to be certain they always have a business card at hand. I am known to pack cards in my wallet, suit-jacket pocket, shirt pocket, note folder, briefcase, glove compartment — you name it. I’m certain there’s always one within reach. Yet the thing that a lot of us…
Interview 1997 – Uniquely You, Use Your Fear, Use Visuals
ASTD – Interchange, Los Angeles What do you think the most important element of successful speaking or presenting is? The personal. Infusing your message with something that is uniquely you. This is what will add expression and color to your message and most directly interest your audience. It’s also the most difficult element for many…
Interview – Training and Development Journal: September 1990
The best thing you can do for yourself as a trainer, teacher and presenter is to take the time to discover your passion about your subject or your job. What is it that gets you excited? What turns you on? You may consider that the subject you’re presenting is technical and dry. But if you…