Ghosting – The Silent Sibling of Gaslighting
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Ghosting – The Silent Sibling of Gaslighting

© Steve Whiteford 2021 If you are a ghost-er, therefore a ghost – unlike a Halloween ghost you’re probably not frightening at all. Like most ghosts people report having experienced, you’re just an annoying practitioner of “now you see me, now you don’t.” Ghosting is akin to Gaslighting because it’s a denial, a charade. And…

IDENTITY – THE EMOTIONAL TIE THAT BINDS YOU 

IDENTITY – THE EMOTIONAL TIE THAT BINDS YOU 

© Steve Whiteford 2021 Identity and ego are good things. They are how we uniquely define ourselves and how we relate to the world. In best-case, we use them to accurately enact our values and allow us to function effectively in the world. But it’s a problem when we are strongly committed to an inflexible…

Lessons from Ghosts: The Benefits of Emotional Self-Awareness and Contemplation

Lessons from Ghosts: The Benefits of Emotional Self-Awareness and Contemplation

© Steve Whiteford 2021 Consider Scrooge. We all have an internal Scrooge. Some aspect of our values, beliefs, or behavior that is driven by a lack of self-awareness, possibly repressed responses to unresolved events in our lives. Working with emotional intelligence requires an openness to incremental self-awareness. To acknowledge the visitations of feeling throughout the…

Cognitive Bias
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Cognitive Bias

Between Daniel Pink and Daniel Kahneman I’ve had Cognitive Bias on my mind. When you really explore it, I think you’ll find Cognitive Bias begins with and is very difficult to separate from feeling. For instance, when we make a Fundamental Attribution Error, our emotions want to reject responsibility, or when we fault someone else’s…

How Empathy Grounds Disagreement

How Empathy Grounds Disagreement

Dealing with disagreement feels like conflict – having an opposing position, experiencing discomfort, and a desire to be right or win. The intensity of disagreements can vary greatly based on the stakes. Sometimes disagreements are just differences of preferences or result from unexamined interactions and habitual moods. From “I don’t like the way you did…

Hats Off to Generation “Z”​ – Our Great DIVERSE Hope

Hats Off to Generation “Z”​ – Our Great DIVERSE Hope

©Steve Whiteford 2022 I had a fantastic time presenting the Skills of Applied Emotional Intelligence to Jeff Quade’s St. Edwards business class yesterday. Of course, I attribute some of this to Jeff’s brilliant and accessible style as a professor and seasoned Organizational Development professional. As a Boomer, I certainly don’t remember being as bright, kind,…

How to Avoid Our Cultural Detours to Emotional Bypass

How to Avoid Our Cultural Detours to Emotional Bypass

©Steve Whiteford, 2022 I am concerned about how emotional intelligence continues to be characterized by terminology that can promote emotional bypassing. Despite all of the great research and writing that has been done on the power of embracing emotions, and having a strong emotional vocabulary, I still notice resistance to the foundational skill of emotional…

5 Easy Pieces of EI Knowledge

5 Easy Pieces of EI Knowledge

1.      In his life-changing book, Love + Work, Marcus Buckingham rightfully declares “Each activity, each interaction is emotionally charged, either positive or negative. Each moment hits you, you can take it in, and it either lifts you up a little or drags you down a little. No moment leaves you at zero.” Although not new, having him make…